7 Traits Of Real Men
Blog post that went viral AKA Meme/chain letter. Gender-related stuff often does.
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mochadad: 7 Traits of Real Men
Ocean Elf: And real women. These should not be gender-specific.
mochadad: 1 Men were made to be bold, strong, leaders.
Ocean Elf: So were women. Deal.
mochadad: However, our society has attempted to repress these traits.
Ocean Elf: Not from where I sit. There are still ultra-machos around and they call it 'leadership' and weak-minded little flakes drooling over them, more than happy to serve under them, happy to 'follow' rather than strike a path of their own. Leadership and being bold should never be assigned to one gender.
mochadad: If you look at the way men (especially dads) are portrayed on TV, you’d think we were all a bunch of irresponsible, befuddled, nincompoops, who can only function with the help of a “smart” female partner, friend, or spouse.
Ocean Elf: I don't know what kind of TV you've been watching, but the stereotypes I run into tend to be more the men ogling over women or having to fight the temptation to - or women always being so darn insecure in their relationships that when their favourite man forgets their birthday or doesn't give them flowers every night or stays out just a teeny bit late or can't make it to some sort of function, the women get all "Oh noes! He's found another woman! Waaaaah!"
And there are still far too many dumb blonde woman stereotypes being trotted out.
There is nothing wrong with people getting outsmarted so long as the playing field is level, and not based on gender. Men shouldn't be played as dumber than women, women shouldn't be played as dumber than men. There are idiots and geniuses among both genders.
In Motorcycle, the man gives up his life to save his girlfriend, whose stupidity causes his death.
Along with a myriad of internet virals assigning various cookie cutter traits to each gender, I can think of some TV commercials where women were definitely assigned the airhead role. One was for a frozen pizza, where the man had the woman come over for dinner. She was all "Mmmm, who delivered?" Oh, come on! Unless you only just walked in right as or after the pizza was already being served, you would smell it cooking - and it doesn't just pop out of the oven and get on our plate by magic. So, surely this woman would've figured out that it was a frozen pizza.
So much emphasis is placed on pressuring women to be "beautiful" it's just sickening. There's another commercial that I discuss on this link, along with other things along this line. Basically, if you're a man, it's okay to get gray hair and wrinkles, but if you're a woman, you have to strive to look 20 years old your whole life - to outshine the other women and to please the men! And the less you wear, the more you can get away with stripping off or getting women to strip or at least act like temptresses, even for a cause, the more the people like it. Aaaaaaaaaagh!
In commercials, the women are far more likely to be seen eating salad while men are seen eating meat.
There are other bad stereotypes about women in these forwards as well as in so many TV shows. Men are stereotyped as absolute jerks in many of these. And the last three of these has a load of bad stereotypes about both genders in each.
The perpetual lit fuse in 9 Words Women Use
The power-tripping, entitlement-driven ogre in Tell 9 Sisters You Love Them.
The one who can't stop fixating on her looks and wants to stay young and "beautiful" forever in Vanity Prayer And Bad Jokes.
The one who only lives for getting a boyfriend and being told she's pretty in Toast 14 Pretty Chica Ladies, Hit 15 Pretty Girls
The passive-aggressive, endless self-pitier, the drama queen in I'm Sorry.
The one who just can't get on with life without having a boyfriend to pamper and treat her like a princess in To Every Girl,
The creepy, demanding, clingy ditz who literally can't go on living when some boy doesn't respond to her every beck and call for attention, and is always cutting herself, killing herself, or going on about how you should always do nothing but hug her, even though she is a knife fiend bent on getting attention or doing harm to herself and very likely others, in: Battle Scars, Billy And Katie, I Died For Love, I Loved Her, I Wish I Could Change That, Jack and ashley Halagey, Kara Lyn, Lisa Marie Gonzalez, and Scary Breakup Sarah.
The "Look at me and hear me roar, I am WOMAN and I am BEAUTIFUL and I can do all kinds of amazing things for myself! and I just have to let everybody know it to keep up my self-esteem and help other women boost theirs!" in National Girlfriends Week - Good To Be A Woman, Beautiful Women Month, 30 Things/What every Woman Should Know She Should Have and Women Make everything You Give Them Better
The once-a-month crazy in the TMI Bodyform Rant and any other medium that perpetuates this myth.
And I'm so sick of pregnant women always being portrayed on TV and in movies as having weird cravings, of food combinations that are designed to make most of us back away in horror. And the idea of a woman getting her period making her turn into some sort of emotional train wreck shebeast-zilla.
I'm sick of this whole pregnancy bit anyway. Not that it shouldn't happen on TV shows/movies, naturally it should, as it does in real life.
What irritates me to no end is that every time some woman has any sort of supposedly shocking revelation, or some other character has some really important bit of info about a woman, and it's clear this is supposed to move the plot along, it's almost always "I'm pregnant" or "She's pregnant. or else it's "She/I have cancer/aids." Oh, come on! There are other things women can do in a story to generate a plot twist.
I'm also fed up to hear with women in lead roles looking like supermodels and/or wearing scanty clothing!
Men definitely shouldn't be the sort that seem to be on the wish list of a bad stereotypical woman - this creepy, over-protective, pampering Prince/Slave Charming whose goal in life is to coddle, protect, and apologize to her into eternity while her own selfish behaviour gets completely overlooked or even adored, and he's supposed to fight every other male that dares to breathe in her direction - in: Tips For Guys and True Boyfriend.
He also shouldn't be the bad stereotypical chauvinist slob in
These bad stereotypes of both genders and their rotten idea of what makes a good example of the opposite:
I'll have none of that!
mochadad: Consequently, many boys are confused and have no idea what it takes to be a real man. They seek inappropriate role models and emulate the bad behavior that they see on a regular basis.
Ocean Elf: Part of that problem is precisely because they are only boys, not men, and yes, the media does encourage bad behaviour and bad stereotypes for both genders.
mochadad: It is our duty as men, fathers, and responsible citizens to counter these negative images and raise a new generation of men who are respectful, loving, and willing to contribute to society in a positive way.
Ocean Elf: Ditto for women.
mochadad: If we are to achieve this goal, we must start with improving ourselves. I started my journey towards self-improvement after my daughter’s birth. The greatest compliment that a father can get from his daughter is “I want to marry someone just like you.” That kind of pressure forces you to examine your life and look for ways to improve.
Ocean Elf: Yick! The old "I wanna marry someone just like my - (insert 'father for the daughter and insert 'mother' for the son) cliche thing… Bleck. You won't marry anyone just like your parents, and that only sets up the probability of a very unhappy marriage if you expect a spouse to be like your parent and they're not. and who says everyone's ambitions are to get hitched anyways?
mochadad: Over the years, I’ve discovered seven traits that real men possess:
Ocean Elf: I could probably rattle off 7 traits too, but they'd be good for either gender.
mochadad: Integrity – Integrity is more than being honest. It’s a lifestyle set on striving towards moral excellence. Real men say what they mean and mean what they say. They are the same person whether or not others are watching. They are trustworthy, dependable, and unwavering.
Ocean Elf: ditto for real women…
mochadad: Compassion – Compassion is sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it. In other words, you feel compelled to help someone who is hurting. Men aren’t often viewed as being compassionate, but it is a trait that helps us to become more connected to the people around us. Real men turn their compassion into service and work to make the world a better place.
Ocean Elf: Real women also possess this trait. And there are far too many people of both genders who are utterly lacking it.
mochadad: Confidence – Real men are confident. Many people confuse confidence with arrogance and self-centeredness. Real men know the difference. Confidence is about being self-assured and self-aware. Confident men have faith in their abilities and knowledge. They don’t need to tear others down in order to build themselves up. They earn people’s trust with their radiant, inner strength. When a they walk into the room, everyone takes notice.
Ocean Elf: Again, ditto for real women.
And there is definitely a difference between confidence, and arrogance/self-centeredness. I get along with confident people. I do not get along with arrogant people.
mochadad: Self-control – Hardly a day goes by without a news report about some high-profile man who has been destroyed by sex, money, and/or drugs. Too many men lack self-control, but it is the foundation of a virtuous life. Self-control starts with focus and ridding yourself of distractions. Doing this isn’t easy because temptations lurk around every corner. Real men are able to tame their desires and channel that energy into positive pursuits.
Ocean Elf: Women also need to practice self-control. They also get their lives ruined by sex and greed. But it takes more than one to ruin a life with sex, and greedy scammers both male and female have ruined the lives of completely innocent people.
If a man or woman wants to be a real man or real woman, they simply won't even have desires/temptations to look at and flirt with others once they are taken… And, they won't get insecure, jealous and possessive, either.
mochadad: Perseverance – Perseverance is the product of self-control. It is courageous resistance against difficult circumstances. Perseverance is only developed through trials. Real men endure the trials and emerge stronger. They never give up.
Ocean Elf: ditto for real women. I'm not going to go into a litany of various trials and difficulties I've struggled through, but, I have, and persevered…
mochadad: Bravery – Bravery is the courage to do what is right regardless of the circumstances. Nothing is ever accomplished with an attitude of passivity. Real men stand up in the face of adversity.
Ocean Elf: Again, ditto for real women. Though I think everybody, from both genders, has shrank back from at least a few things in life. That is human too, and sometimes it is the wiser decision. Forget about "real men" or "real women" I think we need to sort out when "bravery" is just bravado and what is real and understandable fear, and what is self-interested cowardice.
mochadad: Humility – Today’s breed of young men loves to let everyone know how much swagger they have. They thump their chests and proclaim to the world, “I’m a Big Deal. Look at me!” Real men understand the value of being humble and letting someone else’s light shine. They realize that humility is more endearing than self-importance. Humility indicates that you are ridding yourself of the poison of self-centeredness. Besides, humility softens the blow when someone knocks you off your pedestal.
Ocean Elf: Lack of humility comes out as absolute mean-spiritedness in women.
mochadad: Acquiring all of these traits takes time and dedication. However, our society would benefit greatly if all men strove to possess them.
Ocean Elf: Let's apply that to the whole human race, not just one gender.